I Ain't Made That Way
I Ain't Made That Way
When the whole town of Keokee joins in the celebration for their favorite son who has earned two master’s degrees, tall tales, laughter and old resentments are served up alongside the potato salad and banana pudding in this lighthearted tale of a typical family reunion.
Description:
A 75-minute play in two acts, set mostly in the Blue Star Bar and Grill in Keokee, Virginia. Eight actors with the lead in a wheelchair for most of the production. Additional stories are either acted out live or video taped and projected on a screen.
Number of Actors:
9 actors and as many extras to play party-goers as you wish.
By continuing with this purchase, you certify that you are authorized
to make this purchase on behalf of my organization
and have read and agree to the terms outlined in the STC letter of agreement.
Letter Of Agreement
Dear purchaser:
On behalf of the Board of Directors of Shoestring Theatre Company,
it is an honor to accept the invitation to partner with
Here is our understanding.
Shoestring Theatre Company gives
Shoestring Theatre Company will support
- Show graphics images, promotional copy, Shoestring Theatre Company logos and logos for the production.
- Consultation from the writer.
- Regular meetings and guidance from one of the local Shoestring Theatre Company board members.
- Guidance and oversight for all marketing of the plays.
- General descriptions of the plays for programs and other promotional materials.
- A downloadable copy of the script.
Your organization will provide:
- Production at its facility, sets, technical equipment, props, set design.
- Cast, crew, music, technical staff.
- Promotion, ticket sales, programs and all promotional materials.
- Agreement that the script will not be edited or changed, nor characters eliminated or combined.
Terms:
- It is Shoestring’s mission to promote the authentic culture of Southwest Virginia through original story and music. STC supports local arts organizations through sharing revenue and support for local productions.
- Our model is one of revenue sharing in which we have designated specific performances for an organization, which donated a percentage of sales for that one performance to the group.
- To that end, STC will not charge royalties for any play.
Rather, for each production, we will ask that
your organization provide $550 in licensing for one full run of the play and 20% of ticket sales minus the licensing fee. Your organization will maintain and provide records of ticket sales to verify percentages.- Since a downloadable copy of the script is being provided, it is crucial that only as many copies as needed to produce the performance are printed or shared.
Your organization agrees not distribute, copy, print, or share contents of the script beyond what is necessary to produce the performance.- Appalachian musicians produce music for each of the plays. Shoestring Theatre Company can negotiate use for this music, which will be an additional licensing use fee.
- Shoestring Theatre Company is the owner of the intellectual property: scripts, content, ideas, characters and characterizations.
We look forward to working with
Sincerely,
Amelia Townsend
Founder, Shoestring Theatre Company
On behalf of the Board of Directors
John Norce, Treasurer
Deana Stoddard
Joanna Ormesher
Tabitha Hibbitts Grieger
Excerpt
FADE IN:
EXT. MOUNTAIN PATH - AFTERNOON
MATTHEW, MULE TRAIN and VIRGIL are walking down a dirt road, away from the mine. Dressed in safety gear and mining helmets, the trio talks as they walk.
VIRGIL
You ain't said a word all day. Are you still having the surprise party, Matthew?
MATTHEW
Mary would kill me if we didn't. She and her sisters have been cooking for two days and everybody is already invited.
VIRGIL
Are you finally gonna be proud, then son?
MATTHEW
Virgil, for Mary, let's make this a happy day. In fact, it's the biggest day to hit Keokee since we won the state baseball tournament back in '76.
MULE TRAIN
(Dubious.)
Does this mean Mary will be on her best behavior, too?
MATTHEW
I'm going in with a smile and a big appetite. Whens the last time any of us could predict Mary?
VIRGIL
Matt, no matter what happens, just remember that you've always done more than any man could have done especially with a wild hair like Harlan Van Buren on his hands.
MULE TRAIN
If I live to be 300, I'd have never believed that that boy would have accomplished as much. Imagine being the first in Keokee to get not one, but two Masters Degrees. And Matt, son. Listen. You deserve as much credit as Harlan does.
VIRGIL
Matt, no protests, please. You have been a fine example whether Harlan or you would admit it or not.
MATTHEW
(Shaking his head.)
Look, after Big Sam died, I realized how much you both had done for me. But, Harlan he will never think anybody except Big Sam even existed. Now enough of this.
MATTHEW starts to walk away, then turns to face the others.
MATTHEW
We gotta get cleaned up or Mary will ensure our next event will be my funeral.
INT. BLUE STAR BAR & GRILL – SAME TIME
Pull back to reveal a faded, rusting barroom where mismatched tables and chairs are randomly scattered around and a large, antiquated bar with weathered stools. MARY and SHERRY, carrying bowls of food, cleaning materials and decorations enter, looking askance at what they see.
MARY
(Yelling off camera)
Greasy! We're here with the food for Harlans surprise celebration.
SHERRY
(In a whisper.)
I think the dust is holding this place together. We will never get it ready in time.
MARY
Let's give it a good lick and a promise. Harlan and his crowd are so used to this place and to dirty houses if we clean too much, they'll think they're in the wrong spot. Anyway, Sherry, dear, did you tell Harlan about today?
SHERRY
Oh, I told him he could go out with his friends to celebrate that me and the young'ens were going to Kingsport to buy the boys new suits and a dress for Trinity to wear for her confirmation at church.
2.
MARY
And he believed that without question? My little brother is slipping. Well, anyway, we need to get moving here. I suppose you better set up the food and I'll clean.
MARY haughtily snatches the cleaning materials from SHERRY who has begun to wipe down the tables.
MARY
I have more experience at that.
The women work. SHERRY sets the food onto a worn table, making sure to place the banana pudding in a prominent spot. She moves a bowl of potato salad to the rear of the table. MARY busies herself about, cleaning. The mood is tense, silent, nervous and is broken with SHERRY'S terse humming that ebbs and flows with their mood. Every so often, MARY passes by the table, switching the potato salad and banana pudding. SHERRY hums, as she notices. Once MARY has moved away, SHERRY switches the food back.
MARY
Well, it's as clean as it will get. You got all the food set up? H-m-m-, let's move the potato salad to the end of the table with the vegetables. Set it a little apart so Harlan will know its what I made. That's always his favorite.
SHERRY makes her way over to the table, continues to hum. While MARY is not looking, she switches the potato salad and banana pudding. As SHERRY moves away from the table, MARY turns hard to face her, forcing SHERRY to stop and the humming ends.
MARY (CONTINUED)
What will y'all do when Harlan moves off to Damascus next month? Traveling City Manager, who would have believed it! But moving off? Why cant he find something around here? I guess I could send food like when he was in that rehab hospital.
SHERRY
You don't have to worry now, Mary. Hes got me and the kids and of course, Harlan thinks he doesn't need anybody.
3.
MARY notices the banana pudding is in place of the potato salad and exchanges the two.
MARY
That's the problem. Harlan does need someone. You've never understood that.
SHERRY
Mary, Harlan has a mind of his own you know better than me. Now, we got to get done. They'll be here any minute.
MARY turns toward the kitchen,yelling as she walks toward the back room. SHERRY moves the banana pudding and the potato salad.
MARY
Greasy? Greasy? Did you go to the Food City and get fresh ice? Greasy! Ah, that man.
INT. BLUE STAR BAR & GRILL -- PRESENT DAY - ACTION CONTINUES
SHERRY peers out toward theentrance, excitedly.
SHERRY
Here they come.
MARY rushes from the backroom as MATTHEW, VIRGIL and MULE TRAIN enter. Matthew scoops up Mary with a long passionate kiss. Looking at Matthew, Virgil clears his throat.
VIRGIL
Matthew, son. Time for that later at home.
MATTHEW
You girls have this place shining. It will blind Harlan. Did you park your cars outta sight? Are his court buddies and the people from Richmond all coming? I made all the phone calls, but people from off seem to be unable to commit.
MARY
Yes, your majesty. Lord, youd think I didn't know how to do a thing! Matthew, you been married to me for 35 years. You ought to know better.
4.
SHERRY
Hide!
INT. BLUE STAR - ENTRANCE
Low angle of wheels and feet as HARLAN, in a wheelchair,rolls into the bar, closely followed by MUNCH. HARLAN rolls broadly around the room, waving to everyone.
HARLAN
Greasy? Greasy? What’s going on here? It smells like real food and there’s no dust on the tables. You just wiped out the history of the Blue Star. My first illegal booze. My first drunk. Hell, my first illegal booze. Hell, my first illegal booze that got me my first time with a girl! Greasy! Where the hell is everybody? I thought there was a surprise party for me.
HARLAN peers into the audience as DUB and MULE TRAIN rise in the audience.
MULE TRAIN
(To the audience.)
Okay everybody. Surprise! Surprise! Now, lets go get food.
VIRGIL
(To the audience.)
Wait! y'all know better.
He gestures and the audience rises as everyone bows their heads. MUNCH looks on in awkward disbelief.
VIRGIL
Amen. Now, let's eat.